Learning to Dance in the Rain

There are many lessons to learn in life. Nobody has the same story and no one deals with anything the exact same way. There are all these quotes and maxims out there to live by, but some are pretty contradicting. For example some people say “look before you leap,” while others say “he who hesitates is lost.” Confusing right? There’s a right time to use both depending on the situation and the person. What I’m trying to say here is that almost nothing is set in stone and when it comes down to it we make our own decisions.

The one thing I am sure of is that every life on this earth is filled with tragedy and suffering. Everyone dies; most likely you are going to lose loved ones at some point in your lifetime. Most likely you will have to deal with things you don’t want to deal with. As Rocky puts it, life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

The difference between the people who are successful and the people who sit at home depressed is how they react. Successful people realize that sometimes life sucks, but if you can find positivity and opportunity in the ugliest of days you can rise above it. If you can always find things to be thankful for,  you can rise above it. The people who sit around depressed are the ones who look at the suck and say “nothing good can come of this, and I can’t do anything about it.” They throw a pity party and hopelessly mope around for a couple of days.

I’ve been there, I’ve done that. What I am starting to realize is that life really is what you make it. No one will be there for you in the end, except yourself. Yes, you may have close friends and family who you can trust and are very supportive, but in the end they can’t make your decisions for you. Your life is completely up to you; the more situations that you are able to find opportunity and positivity in the better off you will be.

The most successful and happy people have lived tragic lives filled with repeated failures, setbacks, illnesses, deaths, etc... They all have one thing in common though, they’ve learned how to dance in the rain.

For the Love of the Sport

The bar stares me in the face. It is cold, rough, and stiff as I place my calloused hands around it. Today I will do the same thing I have done everyday for the past year: snatch and clean & jerk.

I do some box jumps and and a couple double unders to get the blood pumping to my legs. The room is cool, with some chill music playing softly in the background. It’s just another day at the gym.

After stretching and warming up I slide on my high knee socks that will protect my shins from the wrath of the bar, and next my bright red adidas shoes. I tape my thumbs, tighten my wrist wraps, and slather chalk all over my hands. My coach threatens to make me clean the gym, so I put down the chalk bucket and get ready to lift.

Starting with the tens I do a couple quick reps. This is my chance to fix any technical errors before the bar gets heavy. As the weight goes up, I have to get into more of a routine before each lift. I take a sip of water, chalk my hands, shrug my shoulders, and stomp my feet out as if catching an imaginary bar. My hands grip the bar and my back tightens. There is no doubt in my mind that I will make this lift. I raise my head and find a focal point to stare at.

Shoulders tight, back tight, and heels pushing hard against the floor I start to pull the bar. The bar doesn’t want to move, so I add more force. The bar scrapes my shins and out-turned knees on its way up. It gets to my hip crease, and I hesitate a second longer before I begin the second pull under the bar. The bar is motionless; it sits in the air right where I left it.

My feet move out with a bang and I dive under the bar to catch. My chest is parallel with the wall and my shoulders are flexed. The bar is solid in my grip and I will not let it go. As I stand up I let out a breath relief. The bar stays above me a second longer, before I slam it to the ground with a satisfied grin on my face. My coach walks over and gives me a high five before telling me what I need to fix for next time.

The battle continues everyday with that barbell. It never gets lighter, I just get stronger. Some days the bar defeats me and I leave with my head hanging low. Some days I reign victorious, beating my own personal records and doing what I never imagined I could. Either way, every time I walk out of the gym I leave motivated to be better the next day.

Weightlifting is a metaphor for life. The whole point is to overcome obstacles and better yourself in the process. The goal isn’t to know everything, or to be able to lift all the weights in the world; the goal is find your physical and mental limits then to push past them!

It is a lifelong pursuit to become the greatest you can be.

A Few Tips That Will Make Your Life More Fulfilling

1) Don’t let anything own you. Learn to let go of the past; focus on the present and creating a better future.

You are at a national competition and you just bombed out on the snatch. There really is no need to continue the competition because you have no chance of placing, but you know deep down that placements don’t matter. What really matters is grit; how much will you have to keep going. You decide that you need to make these lifts, so you take a deep breath and focus on hitting your clean and jerks. You forget about your missed snatches because they are in the past and they don’t matter. You PR on your last clean and jerk, leaving you satisfied knowing that you were able to come back and make your last lifts.

2) Stay resilient, just go with the flow. Life is never going to happen exactly as you plan it to, so make plans, just know that they may change. Don’t get hung up on the fact that something didn’t go your way. Just try to make your situation positive.

One day you catch a lift funny and end up tearing your rotator cuff. You go to a physical therapist and learn that you will not be allowed to put any weights above your head for a few weeks. You could go home and cry about it, or you could go to the gym and squat. You know that your squats could use some work, so you decide to focus on getting the strongest legs you’ve ever had. A few weeks later you come back stronger than ever.

3) Stay calm; there is nothing more annoying than someone who gets angry and has freaks out all the time. The worst thing that could happen is that life goes on.

You are angry at your coach for not letting you make one last attempt at a PR that you’ve been chasing for months. You want to throw a chair at the wall because you knew that if you had one more chance you would have stood it up. You still have 5 sets of 5 back squats to do at 90% and gym rules don’t allow throwing chairs, so you decide to calm down and dial it in to hit all of your back squats. Life goes on and no chairs get broken. You realize you have your entire life to lift weights and you should be thankful your coach lets you max out once a week.

4) Don’t be afraid to try. If you are going to try don’t just half-ass it either. You either do it or don’t.

You just loaded the bar to a heavy weight that you’ve never hit before. You aren’t sure if you can make this lift. If you have this kind of attitude that bar could potentially smash your neck and break you. You need to be confident that you can hit this weight. Imagine yourself making this lift then approach the bar and show it whose boss. You are the only person who can stop you. Remember that you, as a human, are literally limitless in your capacity. You can do anything you put your mind to.

5) Set goals, but follow processes. Goals, like life, can change and often when people think about their goals they become overwhelmed. All you can really do is focus on showing up everyday and beating on your skill. Everyday you have the chance to get better so use it.

For someone who wants to go to the Olympics in weightlifting a good process goal would be to show up everyday with an optimistic attitude and give 110% in training. Walk in the gym with the knowledge that you could lift more than you’ve ever lifted before. A good process goal for non-max out days is to hit all of your lifts and make them consistent.

6) Don’t compare yourself to others. It sucks the fun out of your life. You are you. No one else knows your entire story, no one else has gone through everything that you have gone through.

Someone 10 years younger than you just squatted your PR for 10 reps. You start to get down on yourself and you tell yourself that maybe you aren’t that great after all. Then that person tells you that they have been lifting for 4 years and you realize that you were stupid for comparing yourself because you haven’t been lifting as long. Remember that there is always more to every story and never squat with your ego.

7) Don’t apologize for who you are. Keep it real.

People will love you for who you are, and if they don’t then who cares? You don’t need their negativity in your life; you have things to do. Don’t say you’re sorry if you’re really not. Some people are sensitive and here is my advice to them: SUCK IT UP. Life is a mental game and the strongest survive. However do not be an insensitive asshole just for the fun of it. You should focus on inspiring others, not putting them down. (If the real you is an insensitive asshole then maybe you should focus on being positive for your own good)

Everyday is a new day to wake up with a new attitude; you choose. No one can make you feel anything without your consent.