You Are Good Enough

What is that feeling that leads so many people to depression, cutting, eating disorders, bullying, suicide, drinking, abusing sex, and drugs? We all know it, we’ve all felt it before. It’s made us feel tiny, unwanted, and unloved.

It’s the feeling of not being good enough.

It comes from the pain of our past, the fear of our future. We were abused, misused, misled, misunderstood. No one cared. We were rejected. We were forgotten and we were yelled at for our mistakes and our differences. There is so much pain and hurt inside all of us.

Pain is inevitable.

In this life you will feel pain. Loved ones will die, parents will divorce. Things do go wrong at some point. The thing with pain though, is that you can carry it around with you, weighing you down or you can let it go and recalculate your path in life.

The first step to letting go, as Natasha Bedingfield would put it, is to open up your dirty window. Realize that the past is the past, there’s nothing you can do to erase it. Most people run from their past, letting it define who they are and how they act. There is another path, that is much more difficult, it will lead you to happiness.

Let go of your past and learn from your mistakes.

Stop running. Just stop. Take a second and think; what can I do in this moment to become a better person and lead a better life? Take all the lessons that you have learned, all the experiences that you have gone through and let them help you make better decisions in your future. Embrace who you are, your imperfections and all. Somebody loves you.

I just want you to know that you are good enough.

Search for Happiness

Not too long ago I read a book about Buddhism. I’m not a religious person, but I was raised going to church on Sundays. In school I’d learned about the eightfold path and the search for enlightenment, so I decided to look more into Buddhism. I was hoping that after I read the book I would have all the answers, and my life would be perfect within a few days of practicing this new religion. That’s not the case, but this is what I choose to take from the book:

- Always have friendly thoughts about people and all other forms of life.

This and the next few are from the Eightfold Path. According to the Buddha these are the morals one must live by to overcome the craving for earthly pleasures.

- Speak kindly and truthfully while avoiding bitter words against anyone or anything.

We’ve all done it before; spoke ill of someone behind their back or maybe even to their face. We know it’s wrong, but we do it anyway. However, avoiding saying negative things to or about people will help you be more positive and think positive thoughts.

- One’s time should be used for self-improvement.

Don’t waste your time with negative self-talk or other self-harming activities such as drinking, doing drugs, cutting, etc. Instead try to find small ways to better yourself each day. I know I have a ton of things to work on like being more positive, letting things go, and not taking things personally.

- Earn a living in a way that will not harm others and doing what you love (I added that part).

Don’t let the world tell you who you have to be. Take what you love to do, practice it a little bit everyday, and don’t stop when it gets frustrating. At first you might suck, even if it is something you love to do, but if you keep going your work will become better quality and you will eventually find a way to make a living by doing what you love.

- Keep the right state of mind; self-awareness and compassion.

Practicing compassion towards others is a huge step in bettering yourself. People will want to talk to you and be around you if you act compassionately. Saying hello, remembering people’s names, and giving your full attention are just a few ways to practice compassion.

- Practice meditation.

Zen Stones

Meditation is a great way to heal the mind. I don’t know about you, but my mind is constantly busy with a million different things: my homework, to-do list, blog ideas, books to read, movies to see, who I want to be, what I want to be like, how to get better at this and that… Meditation is an easy way to give it a rest and let it have time to heal. Just like our bodies need rest, so do our minds. It won’t be easy at first, but it is recommended to meditate for at least 20 minutes a day. Clear your mind and focus on nothing, or try repeating your mantra over and over in your head. It is harder than it sounds!

I wrote this as a way to organize my thoughts. Take what you want from it, and I hope it will help you on your search for happiness.

-Liz